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If possible, ensure your eyes are bloodshot -- women love that, I think.Step 2: With the fluid grace of an Irishman pulling a Guinness, initiate your wink. But my Foolproof Whole Foods Pick-Up System (patent-pending) has foolproof in the name, so I have no doubt it will work for you.The Butcher (C*ck) Block Pick-up rating: 6 The long rows allow for you to try out multiple lines on your prospective mate.Remember to use the crown-end displays to shock & excite.High-collared jacket Why: The key to supermarket seduction is intrigue, and the key to intrigue is looking like a mugger, obviously. You don't actually have to own "lulus" to appreciate the cultural importance of their magnificent stretchy pants, but if you're mindful of popular logos found in Whole Foods, you'll always have a conversation starter.To give myself an edge, I memorized the labels & looks of the following lady-beloved items: You've gotta come across as "normal" in these early stages of environmentally-conscious courtship.Wandering cartlessly through the dairy section looking for a beautiful woman to seduce with lactose jokes? But fill a cart/basket with suggestive Whole Foods products (pre-natal vitamins, potency serums, massage oils...), and It's 2014.

Conclusion: Stockpile flirtatious, food-focused fire to knock all the mamas out. Like sun-kissed spaghetti squash from a local rooftop garden, your Whole Foods come-on should be firm, organic, and totally void of pesticides. Here, I established an element of irresistible surprise by popping my head through a display of artisanal applesauce and demanding to get drinks later.

Each time a prospective lover grabs the ladle, close in as though you, too, are only here for the soup. of Whole Foods' assorted olives bar by emerging from below.

Though a tricky maneuver, when executed properly, your odds of scaring her into agreeing to meet up for coffee later can climb as high as 75%.* If for some inexplicable reason none of these tips have landed you the Whole Foods catch of your dreams, worry not! Or it will be, once you learn how to deploy the Whole Foods Wink.

To execute: Step 1: Inch your shades down, James Lipton-style, to reveal your eyes.

This demonstrates an adorable vulnerability, and will also help you not bump into stuff.




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