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You can’t maintain 10 flirty friendships and expect to make space in your heart for one awesome husband or wife.

But you can start somewhere—slowly, and casually—and trust God to lead you into more.

The trajectory of lives and eternities are in the balance."Careful, there, cowboy. Establishing principles for Christian dating could set men and women on a course toward Christ-centered marriages.

Laying out guidelines for dating as followers of Jesus could alter the lives of men and women by keeping them out of toxic and unhealthy relationships (and ultimately marriages).

As my friend Lindsey, married and in her thirties, recently remarked, “I’m sure glad I wasn’t much of a Christian when I started dating my husband!

” Whether over coffee in my kitchen or on the hallowed ground of women’s small groups, I hear these murmurs constantly.

I can’t say it clearly enough: Hanging out in groups will not be enough information to determine who is worth marrying.

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“The secret,” he said, “is knowing how to handle a dating relationship so you know if the other person is worth marrying or he or she is honored in the breakup.” Unfortunately, it seems like many young singles struggle to figure out just how to handle dating–and I’m not the only one who’s noticed how weird the Christian dating scene can be.Of course, one of the biggest obstacles toward casual dating is the inevitable “ending.” So many of us equate kindness with never saying anything hard to anyone. Kindness is honoring someone in your treatment of them, but kindness is also honoring them by ending a dating relationship if needed. But the purpose of dating isn’t to just accumulate boyfriends or girlfriends—it’s to find a best friend and partner for life.If you’ve maintained boundaries and treated your date with respect, you’ve protected him or her from false and premature intimacy. And when you find him or her, chances are, none of those other guys or gals you’ve casually dated will matter much in the light of your spouse. You can’t have the attention of multiple dates and still be pursuing a God-honoring relationship with one.And unless someone’s making arrangements for you, it’s worth spending at least a little bit of time with the person before you decide if they are worth marrying. But it’s foolish to think that the way a girl or guy acts in a group of friends is the same as how they’ll act one on one.Dating helps two people sort out what it would be like to be together, to be in a friendship.




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