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I took immune-boosting supplements (even though research on supplements to prevent herpes is inconclusive) and made sure he was taking his herpes medication, which decreases chances of transmission as well as his frequency of outbreaks — and then we just kind of went about our sex lives without fretting too much. We decided to be mostly monogamous, agreeing that when we were in the same city, we would only see each other. Should I then disclose to my new partners that I have genital herpes?After the relationship ended (for non-STI reasons), I wanted to get tested for HSV II, but my doctor said that because it takes so long to build up antibodies, results would be inconclusive. After a long discussion over the ethics of herpes, my doctor and I decided that it was unnecessary to tell future partners that I’d come into contact with it — because, after all, most sexual adults likely have, too.My newfound herpes education led me to make a choice: I was going to have sex with this guy.At that point, I had real feelings for him and didn't want to walk away.Not everyone has symptoms, but this doesn't mean you can't pass the virus to others.In fact, the majority of Americans have at least one form of the herpes virus, and you can get it from kissing, fucking, sharing a drink, or basically any form of close contact with a mucous membrane.

The fact that he'd been honest about this pretty major thing before we'd even met was a testament to how trustworthy he was, and maybe because of that, I continued to pursue him.

It’s true that the majority of the time, genital outbreaks are symptomatic of HSV II, but you can be infected by either type in either location, or even have both types in a given location — which makes me think that, functionally speaking, distinguishing between oral and genital infections is pointless.

If you can asymptomatically shed the virus from any point of your body and it can infect any point of another person’s body, isn’t any type or location of herpes just…herpes?

It would be like telling everyone that I have the flu, but hadn’t shown any symptoms, so it was only a possibility.

Instead, I got out ye olde hand mirror every few days and checked out my genital area for any abnormalities or bumps.

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