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As he grows up, this self-belief may lead him to distrust his own feelings. An emotionally invalidating environment in childhood is believed to be one of the life experiences that put people at risk for developing BPD.

For example, in an emotionally invalidating home environment, a child who becomes frustrated and starts to cry may be told, “Stop acting like a baby! As the child matures and the emotional invalidation continues, he may try harder and harder to get his parents to respond to his feelings in positive ways.

They accomplish this through wide range of deviant communicational phenomena “…such as self-contradictions, inconsistencies, subject switches, tangentializations, incomplete sentences, misunderstandings, obscure style or mannerisms of speech, the literal interpretation of metaphor and the metaphorical interpretation of literal remarks, etc." (p. They thought problematic behavior resulted from an unresolved conflict within the individual between two opposite courses of action.

Now the analysts assumed that the conflict was between biological impulses like sex and aggression and a person's internalized value system, otherwise known as his or her conscience.

As you know, everyone is different, including in the way they experience relationships and interactions with others.

For example, if you grew up in an invalidating environment, maybe you experienced some of what’s described above. But then again, maybe you didn’t, and now you’re realizing that you didn’t view your childhood emotional experiences that way. Some BPD experts believe that temperament can also influence how sensitive a person may be in an emotionally invalidating environment.

Sometimes emotionally invalidating relationships happen "naturally," such as when there's a mismatch between parents' personalities and their child's.

In an invalidating environment, you're essentially told that your expression of feelings is The “invalidator” may deny, ignore, ridicule, deliberately misinterpret, or be critical of your feelings.

Whatever form the invalidating takes, a child growing up in an invalidating environment learns that his emotions are somehow incorrect, perhaps not even worth considering.

Family systems pioneer Murray Bowen framed this as a conflict between the forces of individuality and the forces of togetherness.

Those with such a conflict suppress parts of themselves that do not seem to conform to what they believe other important family members expect of them, but the suppression is never complete.




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