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Will they all get naked and have the Spanx airbrushed out later?Like all the indignities of our youth, at a certain point this tradition has to die.I mean, I don’t necessarily need them to be thriving or anything — I just want someone to make sure that Lala wasn’t in a private-plane crash and James’s stomach didn’t explode from eating Pop Rocks and drinking Coke.(Based on the previews for next episode, I’ll get the explanation I’ve been needing, but still!

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What will this photo shoot look like in five years? Will it be people in muumuus trying to hide their C-section scars, with the guys getting hair extensions to cover their bald spots?

) The theme for this year’s SUR photo shoot is “indulgence,” which is apt considering the number of — how can I say this — summer bodies on display.

The flashbacks to previous photo shoots show the staff of the restaurant wearing as little clothing as possible, with Jax showing off the chiseled rivulets of his torso and Peter trying to flash a little peen between his beefy thighs, while girls with flat stomachs titter around him.

Yeah, all of these people take indulgence a little bit too seriously, which is why Sandoval, Ariana, and Scheana are really the only people in the cast who should be stripping down to their skivvies. Now, I don’t want to fat-shame anyone, because they all still look really good, but we have certain standards when it comes to nude photo shoots and sex-based marketing materials.

As a society, we demand perfection — we need something to inspire us and make us feel awful about ourselves, or else both the athleisure market and stocks for the manufacturers of antidepressants would surely crash.




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