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In what seemed an instant, though, the lights were up and she was declining my invitation to continue our ruminations at an all-night diner.

That was that, I thought, but as we walked out of the club door and into the dead of night, she clasped me tightly and brought me alive with the most passionate of kisses.

Next afternoon, I woke full of anticipation at the delights to come that evening.

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"In those days, when I sported both real-live - often dyed - hair and sideburns, I did get that comparison the odd time.All day long, as my friend and I cycled from one side of the island to the other, picnicked, sunbathed and swam in the azure blue sea of clich, I saw him round each corner, behind every rock, in every pool. We met by the sea wall as the sun was setting and watched the horizon turn as red as Atlanta burning.Which is when Rhett decided to tell me about his holiday job as a gas station attendant out West; all six weeks of it, and with all the parched delivery of a dust storm on a forecourt at the end of the world. I don't give a damn, I rasped, my voice unaccountably high and squeaky. MARK SMITHFOR many thirtysomethings, Ibiza in the late 1980s and early 1990s will always be about the dance music revolution that turned the island into a paradise of superclubs and sexual freedom.Nothing to do with the fact that we live in Festival City and accommodation can be hard to come by at that time of year - oh no.So, when it comes to the final night and you swap phone numbers, just remember this: always, always, give them the wrong number. My swooning stopped four years later, when romance blossomed with the love of my life, Sara, the woman with whom the marriage and children I had told Clara Rodriguez would never be for me seemed so natural and right. It might have only been in Glasgow, but it was on a Bank Holiday.

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